How To Get Over A Breakup
The breakup of a relationship can be very difficult to deal with emotionally. The feelings that follow a breakup often resemble those
experienced after the death of a loved one. They can range anywhere from being confused, angry and sad to downright depressed.
Even if it was in your best interest for the relationship to end, there can still be a period of time where you feel disoriented and it can
take some time to find your new ‘normal’.
It is important to allow the process to unfold naturally and honor whatever you feel at any given moment at your own pace. Designate
some time each day to think about your relationship, cry about it, shout about it, talk about it to someone, but then put it on the shelf for
the rest of the time. This way you can still keep focus on other things and not allow the painful feelings to monopolize your entire
day. There is no need to go through this process alone. You can surround yourself with family and friends. You can see a therapist or
join a support group. You can spend some time helping others in an effort to take the attention away from yourself or you can try bits
and pieces of all of the above.
Whatever avenue or avenues you choose, it is a good idea to take special care of yourself during this time. Eat well. Get some fresh air.
Get plenty of sleep. Make time for activities you enjoy even if you are not exactly feeling the joy right now. It may also be helpful to
engage in new activities, like taking a class on an interesting topic or starting a new hobby. Perhaps you can book some time at a spa or
take a mini vacation, even a staycation. Long, hot bubble baths with sea salt help me. The sea salt is also very detoxifying. Figure out
what you like to do best and do it often.
In time, you will start to feel better and, once you are feeling a little better, spend some time recounting the experiences you had
together. Make a list of both the positive experiences and any lessons learned. Forgive yourself and your partner for any wrongdoings or
mistakes. Be thankful for the experience.
Then, place a picture of the two of you and any memorabilia that reminds you of the relationship into a box. You can do this figuratively
or literally. When you are ready, seal the box, choose a special place, and bury it. These steps will help you to find closure and peace
within yourself while putting the relationship to its final resting place, freeing you both to move forward on your own separate paths.
I know this sounds hard to imagine, especially when it feels like your heart is breaking. Believe me, I have had the ‘opportunity’ to put
my own advice to the test. At first, I didn’t feel like doing one darn thing and it felt more like I was going through the motions and faking
it until I was making it. However, as I continued to practice self care and allow myself to go through the process, slowly, but surely, I
started feeling back to myself again and the inner joy returned.
