Mirror Mirror
Mirror Mirror please show me … that part of others reflected in me?
Do you know that when you are looking at another person, you are actually mirroring them.
Do you like what you see?
What part of yourself is reflected in them?
Mirroring is a natural behavior where we mimic the expressions, characteristics, patterns, voices, tone, posture, attitude, body
language, mannerisms and feelings of those we interact with. It is said to be a form of empathy and we often do this unconsciously
without even realizing we are doing it.
Mirroring is a powerful tool for interacting with others and allowing our senses to guide our interactions.
If you have pleasant feelings when interacting with someone, it is often a reflection of the energy you are putting out as well as receiving
from them.
Mirroring can make us feel an instant rapport, connection and empathy towards others, as if we are on the same wavelength and can
share their emotions.
Conversely, it can signal us to step back from others, maintain distance and proceed with caution.
I am always curious when I meet someone new what we are reflecting in one another and what my first impressions are.
While it feels so good to find likenesses with others, I also notice that the behaviors we dislike in others are often behaviors we dislike in
ourselves.
When used properly, we can tune into these impressions and make changes within ourselves to put our best foot forward but also to
step back from absorbing others’ unwanted energy.
Relationships
You never know going in if it is meant to be for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Each encounter provides more data, more insight into
yourself and others and it helps to gather knowledge of the kinds of people you want to surround yourself with. Be clear
on your boundaries and be sure that the relationship enhances your life as opposed to draining your energy. Gauge how you feel. Be
sure to be authentically you because otherwise you do a major disservice to yourself and others as the true self cannot hide forever.
Even if you want a partner and feel Ionely, don’t settle or be with someone just to fill the need to not be alone as it often better to be
alone than to be with someone who makes you feel alone. Ask yourself if the relationship feels balanced, if both parties are equally
interested in one another if there’s a give and take, an ebb and flow. We sometimes get so wrapped up in the idea of love that we rush
into sex, intimacy, moving in together, even getting married without doing our due diligence. People spend more time asking questions to
a potential employer than a potential spouse. We want to know what hours we are expected to work, what the benefits are, how and
when we are compensated, when we get breaks and time off and so on and so on.
When we first meet someone, we sometimes make excuses for the other person and instead of seeing how things are, we paint the
portrait we want to see and ignore the potential red flags and fill the rest in as perfect. Our instincts provided glimpses that things may
not have been quite right but we ignored our instincts to fill an immediate void and cast aside initial doubts that should have been
pursued. It is like putting a filter on a picture to highlight the best image or to change the image to suit the version we hold in our mind.
Then we end up disappointed that the reality doesn’t measure up.
Also, what does the other person see in you? Are they actually seeing the real you? Do you go out of your way to be accommodating and
pleasing to the other person and lose yourself in the process? A person’s true colors will eventually shine because there is no hiding
yourself forever. So, be yourself and take the time to get to know someone and allow the process to unfold naturally.
You can’t force puzzle pieces that simply don’t fit.
Although I find value in every new encounter, I am much quicker to move past situations that don’t work. In doing so, I make room for the
people I am meant to spend more time with.
Don’t settle for someone to be with. Take the time to find someone you don’t want to be without!
How To Get Over A Breakup
The breakup of a relationship can be very difficult to deal with emotionally. The feelings that follow a breakup often resemble those
experienced after the death of a loved one. They can range anywhere from being confused, angry and sad to downright depressed.
Even if it was in your best interest for the relationship to end, there can still be a period of time where you feel disoriented and it can
take some time to find your new ‘normal’.
It is important to allow the process to unfold naturally and honor whatever you feel at any given moment at your own pace. Designate
some time each day to think about your relationship, cry about it, shout about it, talk about it to someone, but then put it on the shelf for
the rest of the time. This way you can still keep focus on other things and not allow the painful feelings to monopolize your entire
day. There is no need to go through this process alone. You can surround yourself with family and friends. You can see a therapist or
join a support group. You can spend some time helping others in an effort to take the attention away from yourself or you can try bits
and pieces of all of the above.
Whatever avenue or avenues you choose, it is a good idea to take special care of yourself during this time. Eat well. Get some fresh air.
Get plenty of sleep. Make time for activities you enjoy even if you are not exactly feeling the joy right now. It may also be helpful to
engage in new activities, like taking a class on an interesting topic or starting a new hobby. Perhaps you can book some time at a spa or
take a mini vacation, even a staycation. Long, hot bubble baths with sea salt help me. The sea salt is also very detoxifying. Figure out
what you like to do best and do it often.
In time, you will start to feel better and, once you are feeling a little better, spend some time recounting the experiences you had
together. Make a list of both the positive experiences and any lessons learned. Forgive yourself and your partner for any wrongdoings or
mistakes. Be thankful for the experience.
Then, place a picture of the two of you and any memorabilia that reminds you of the relationship into a box. You can do this figuratively
or literally. When you are ready, seal the box, choose a special place, and bury it. These steps will help you to find closure and peace
within yourself while putting the relationship to its final resting place, freeing you both to move forward on your own separate paths.
I know this sounds hard to imagine, especially when it feels like your heart is breaking. Believe me, I have had the ‘opportunity’ to put
my own advice to the test. At first, I didn’t feel like doing one darn thing and it felt more like I was going through the motions and faking
it until I was making it. However, as I continued to practice self care and allow myself to go through the process, slowly, but surely, I
started feeling back to myself again and the inner joy returned.
Spiritual Superpowers – The Clairs
We all are born with the ability to communicate with God and spirit through our natural gifts. Additionally, we can enhance these gifts by
practicing using them.
Although we have the ability to use all of the following methods, it is common to have one primary means of communication with a
secondary strength as a backup.
•Clairvoyance (clear seeing) – seeing fleeting images and colors, dreaming
vividly and intensely, recognizing symbols and seeing repeated number
sequences, seeing a scene in your mind before it happens as well as remote
viewing.
Clairvoyance is the act of seeing with the mind’s eye.
•Clairaudience (clear hearing) – hearing a strong voice in the mind warning of
danger, the familiar unexpected notes of a loved one’s favorite song when thinking
of them, or hearing a song or overhearing a conversation which gives you exactly
what you need to hear. You may also hear messages outside your mind just as
you were talking to someone directly in front of you.
I knew someone who had contemplated suicide and just as he was about to hang
himself, he heard the radio announcer discuss Kurt Cobain’s death and heard the
words “Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem”. For some
reason, those words continued to echo in his mind as if they were cued for him to
hear at that precise moment. Thankfully, he heard the message and sought help
instead.
•Claircognizance (clear knowing) – knowing information with no idea how or why
you know, information given to you in your mind just exactly when you need it.
Many intellectual people are claircognizant.
•Clairsentience (clear feeling) – intuiting things that are coming, getting gut
feelings about situations, perhaps preceded by or accompanied with goosebumps,
chills, nausea, heat.
An empathic person can literally feel the emotions of others.
•Clairgustance (clear tasting) – tasting energetically without having put anything
in your mouth. For example, if you were thinking of someone you know was a
coffee drinker and tasting coffee on your tongue while thinking of them or craving
a cup of coffee while thinking of them when you don’t even drink coffee. The
coffee taste or craving helps you recognize their energetic imprint so you can
clearly identify who you are connecting with.
You can also experience “a bad taste in your mouth” upon meeting someone
which could be a forewarning of their character.
•Clairalience (clear smelling) – smelling scents out of nowhere that remind you of
a person such as smelling your grandmother’s perfume when she is not physically
present or smelling something pungent, perhaps like a skunk as a deterrent to
stay away.
Although four years have passed since my son transitioned, I still can smell his
scent when I think of him and his scent is a confirmation to me that he is around.
Signs of the Angels
There are many different signs of the angels. The angels use the path of least resistance to get their messages across to us and make
us aware of their existence. Some examples of signs of the angels are as follows: seeing their images in the clouds, putting a feather in
our path, seeing specific and sometimes repeated numbers sequences, flickering of lights, turning on and off of electronics, visiting us
in our dreams and sometimes appearing right in front of us.
When I have personally asked for signs of the angels, I specifically requested that they send me a dime from heaven. I can’t tell you how
many times that dimes have appeared in my path out of nowhere. Sometimes, when I get into my car in the morning, there is a dime
sitting on my car seat. Other times, I have tripped, only to find a dime at my feet. Once I was particularly upset and feeling the sadness
of a breakup, and I asked for a sign that I wasn’t alone and lo and behold, in the middle of the night, I had to go to the bathroom and
was shocked to find dimes all over my bathroom floor! It was unmistakeable, shocking and humbling.
The signs of the angels are put in our paths so that we do recognize them and to remind us that they are there with us. The angels want
to connect with us and they are here to help us, but are unable to intervene without our specifically requesting their assistance due to
our free will. When we do ask, they appear to us in non-frightening and comforting ways. Ask for signs of the angels and pay attention to
what you receive.
Facing Death and A Song for Bobby
My grandmother always told me to never say goodbye and to instead say, “so long”, knowing that we will meet again.
As a child, I was very afraid of death and would oftentimes wake up in cold sweats worrying over it and panicking over what happened to
us when we die.
My friend Bobby and I were very close. We played together. We grew up together. We talked and talked and talked til we fell asleep
talking. We went to the beach. We went clubbing. We argued. We had adventures. Sometimes on Saturday morning, if he called and I
didn’t answer the phone because I was still sleeping, he climbed up the back of my house and scaled the wall to my bedroom
window, pulled out the window fan and serenaded me awake. At times he drove me crazy!
He gave me this little jingle one time. It said...
We talk about girls
We talk about guys
We talk about ‘us’
But we never ask ‘why’
We say I love you on the phone
Then we go to bed, each one alone
It never occurred to us to ‘get together’
I had always met everyone he dated and he always met everyone I dated -- except this one girl named ‘Gina’ and I never understood why
she was the one girl he didn’t let me meet. He told me that she lived in the basement of her house and it was all set up like an
apartment in a town called Chester, and that she played the baby grand piano, etc. One night my friend and I went out to a club with
him and his friend Gino and then we were all going over Gino’s house later to drink some brandy. We got there and were drinking shots
of brandy and my head was a little fuzzy. Gino started playing his piano and we were all singing and carrying on and just having a good
time. But the next morning, I was like ‘Oh my God’ - we were in Chester in this basement apartment and Gino was playing the baby
grand piano. Gino? Could this be the Gina I never met?
So, I asked him right away - “are you gay”, and he said no.
So instead of my usual ‘i love you’ when we hung up, I would say - ‘just remember two things - number one, i love you
and number two, if you are, it doesn’t matter (meaning if he was gay).
Sometimes I would shorten it further and just say - just remember 2 things and he would say ‘yeah .. yeah.’
One night he said, say them .. so I said ok, number one i love you, number two, if you are.... he said ‘I am.’
A year later, he died of AIDS. I was in my early 20’s and he was nearly a year older. I wrote this song called ‘Song for Bobby’ when he
passed. The reason it is the most sentimental to me besides the obvious reasons is because of how cathartic it was to write it. It was
like an old church hymn that kept playing over and over in my head til I put it in words.. I could feel him all the time.. everywhere.. and I
knew he wasn’t ‘gone’.
Song For Bobby
(written in memory of Bobby Donaghy 2-16-64 to 7-24-87)
Whenever there’s a shining sun
Forever towards it I will run
For in its beauty, I’ll think of you
And all the things we used to do
I miss you so and yet I know
That you’re not far wherever you are
And, if I listen close
I can almost hear
You gently whisper in my ear
That everything will be ok
I’m learning to live life day by day
And not a day will go by that I won’t think of you
And all the things we used to do
And the falling rain will erase the pain
And make us all believe again
That we are one forevermore
And death merely opens another door
And that someday we’ll reunite
I’ll never stop searching for the light
That leads us all towards the right way
I can’t look back on yesterday
Except to remember the happiness
I guess that’s something I’ll always miss
And sometimes still I feel the sorrow
And I don’t think I can face tomorrow
It’s the inner strength that keeps me going
I know it’s all a part of growing
So it’s the joy and laughter I’ll think of hereafter
And the better times I’ll keep in mind
And not a day will go by that I won’t think of you
And all the things that we’ve been through
I miss you so and yet I know
That you’re not far wherever you are
And, if I listen close
I can almost hear
You gently whisper in my ear
That everything will be ok
I promise to live life day by day
And the falling rain will erase the pain
And make us all believe again
That we are one forevermore
And death merely opens another door
And that someday we’ll reunite
I’ll never stop searching for the light
That leads us all towards the right way
I can’t look back on yesterday
Except to remember the happiness
I guess that’s something I’ll always miss
To stay in one place you eventually slip back
So you have to keep moving to stay on track
No matter how hard it seems
Hold onto your dreams
Because you just never know
When it’s your time to go
And sometimes still I feel the sorrow
And I don’t think I can face tomorrow
It’s the inner strength that keeps me going
I know it’s all a part of growing
So it’s the joy and laughter I’ll think of hereafter
And the better times I’ll keep in mind
Goodbye is too final and this isn’t the end
So I’ll just say' ‘so long’ to my special friend.
Butterflies
So beautiful, free spirited and expansive as they open their wings and take flight. They come to rest on our shoulder, breeze past us
and sometimes deliver a message.
As I was walking, entranced in my thoughts, a butterfly encircled me playfully, reminding me to let my own spirit fly. I got your message,
gentle creature and I thank you for it. My heart is open. I feel love and welcome it in all its glory. The butterfly reminds me of my oldest,
carefree, elusive at times and comes and goes at will but always beautiful.
Turtles
Turtles, with their hard, protective shells on the outside and vulnerable, soft interior on the inside, moving at their own pace in their own time….
They remind me of my son.
Tigers
Tigers are fierce, powerful, vigilant and courageous in the face of danger. They are also calm, determined, patient, loyal and protective.
They prowl with finesse and are highly adept and focused in their pursuits.
My youngest is my tiger, with her ever-watchful eye, keen, sharp and hyper aware, always looking out for me and those she loves. She
recently became a mother. I knew she would be a good one but that is a pale understatement. She’s incredible and I observe her in awe.
Dolphins
Dolphins are magical and healing creatures. They produce intense energy that can resonate in people around them. Many researchers
believe that dolphins’ electromagnetic energy fields enable them to heal.
Dolphins are compassionate by nature, and that invokes feelings of acceptance and love when anyone interacts with them. This
unconditional love transmitted by dolphins is said to stimulate the healing and disease fighting mechanisms in humans.
When I traveled to Florida a few years back, I had an opportunity to get up close and feed the dolphins. I felt immediately at peace in
their presence and truly didn’t want to leave. It was a tangible feeling that I can still access just by remembering my time with them and
an experience I will never forget.
A Page From My Journal
And so it begins, ….
Not sure of what I will end up writing but I want to start with the signs.
I always believed in God, but, after the physical death of my son Eric, I questioned everything!
I needed answers, wanted glimpses – no more blind faith – I was asking for something in return.
Do we go on?
Does God hear me?
Is there an afterlife?
The grief was painfully intense. I cried countless tears. I begged and pleaded. I relived the moments like Groundhog’s Day.
The love I have for my children is so big and this couldn’t possibly be all there is.
I suppose the signs were there, but my grief was so intense it was blocking me from seeing them. They kept coming to me from others,
but I wanted them for myself, I wanted them to be un-mistakable and I wanted more!
Even on the day of Eric’s physical passing, my oldest daughter was on a camping trip with her children and a butterfly was following
them everywhere. The kids surmised that a boy must have died because the butterfly was blue. Did they sense something? It was so
insistent that they took pictures of it before they had any idea that Eric had passed. It even perched on my daughter’s hands and stayed
there. The picture depicted here is the exact picture of the butterfly perched in my daughter’s hands.
Another day, my 2-year old niece was ‘reading’ her book and ripped out a piece of the book. It dropped to the floor and, lo and behold,
the only thing on that tiny piece of paper from the book was the name ‘Eric’. She was Eric’s goddaughter.
When Eric passed, my mother stayed with me for weeks. When I was sleeping, she saw Eric come over and kiss my forehead while I
slept.
My cousin had a psychic reading around that time and was given messages for me in that reading.
My friends were receiving messages for me.
My sister, Krissy, a natural medium, had, and continues to have visitations from Eric.
I’ve had a few visitations of my own, one where Eric and I were swimming together in the streets in the neighborhood I grew up in and
one where Eric was laying on my bed watching tv.
As I record these signs, I realize that they happened, but I kept wanting more solid proof.
At some point, I just let go of the expectations and was left only with hope.
The song “Sunglasses at Night” by Corey Hart reminds me of Eric. It came out in the 80’s. Around the time of his passing, that song
came on the radio every single day.
The day of his service, I was on the way to the funeral home and “Bittersweet Symphony” by the Verve came on as soon as I got into my
car, which was one of the 3 songs I chose for his service. I acknowledged it at the time but still, it wasn’t truly clicking and, even though I
know that there are no coincidences, I needed to re-learn that.
Anyway, back to “Sunglasses at Night”, I was crying hysterically and asking for a sign from Eric when the song started playing on the
radio. I called out and asked Eric if it was really him and the words “see the love that’s right before my eyes” was playing. I glanced at
my crumpled tissue and I actually had 2 hearts imprinted where my eyes cried through the tissue! I took a picture and sent it to a few
people because even I was shocked.
Eric and I have always connected through music and, when I listen to music, it bring me in tune with him even more.
I remember the long drives we took fairly often. It was an escape for both of us and relaxed, quality time that we enjoyed on the regular.
“Shape of My Heart” by Sting and “You Are Not Alone” by Michael Jackson, the other two songs that played at his service, as well as
“Every Me and Every You” by Placebo, “What’s Up” by 4 Non Blondes, “ The Shallows” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper and so many
more scream Eric.
I admit I have been greedy. I would start to question the signs and ask for more just to be sure.
I started to take pictures of the things that came up and now I am writing them down for my own records, sanity and, in the event they
may someday help another.
My sister bought our nephew a construction play set and it said ‘Eric’s’ on it. (that was by the manufacturer – not us).
I was awaiting a grocery delivery and received a text to check the location of the delivery and, when I opened the message, it said driver
“Eric”.
Recently, my niece saw Eric in her bedroom. They were extremely close. She was with me every day for weeks when he passed. I
wouldn’t be surprised if she developed mediumship abilities in the future. It seems to run in our family.
Another time I woke up missing him because I hadn’t noticed any recent signs and I asked again. My phone announces callers out loud
and, while I was in the bathroom, I heard ‘call from ERIC’. I looked at the caller ID and Eric’s initials, ERC appeared.
One night I felt such despair, I reached out to God Himself. I always felt connected to Mother Mary and the angels, but God Himself felt
like the man in the sky, too great and unreachable for lowly me.
I prayed hard that night for a peak into the afterlife, a glimpse that we live on, a sign that GOD hears me.
Around 3 or 4 a.m., I felt a nudge. Was someone calling my name? It’s weird because I was sleeping with Soundscapes on the tv at night
for the soft light and calming music. When I opened my eyes, the screen displayed a quote from Ralph Waldo Emerson and, at the
bottom of the screen in quotes “Voice of God”!
I, of course, took a picture because I can’t make this stuff up. I didn’t need to hear the song playing. I just got my sign from God Himself
and I so needed that.
I love you, Eric and our love is eternal. I know that LOVE NEVER DIES and I know that you are with me. I sure do miss your big hands,
your warmth, your company, your trust, your humor, your hugs, your physical presence, really EVERYTHING about you including your
protectiveness and support of me. I hope you are flying so high and I am so thankful for every blessed moment.
I am committed to opening the connection to the Divine and seeing Heaven on Earth and realizing and remembering who we are!
Imaginary Friends
Angels and Spirit Guides
Do you remember when you were younger and you had imaginary friends?
These imaginary friends were either angels or spirit guides. The difference between angels and spirit guides are that angels never lived in earthly bodies. They have always been in spirit form whereas spirit guides once inhabited the earth as humans. These spirit guides/angels comforted the children at specific times in their lives.
It is said that we have at least two guardian angels with us our whole lives, one who is a more dominant presence who continually reminds us to stay on track with our divine purpose and the other who is a more gentle angel who brings constant comfort. Aside from our guardian angels, there are many angels and spirit guides who come and go in our lives depending on our specific needs at the time.
Angels are non-threatening, pure love beings. They will never cause you to feel afraid. Their presence is always welcome, peaceful and comforting.
Spirit guides, on the other hand, have been human before, and can understand what we go through here on earth, our trials and tribulations, frustrations and fears. They may also be deceased family members who watch over us.
Children see these spirit guides and angels very plainly and clearly. They accept their presence naturally and don’t filter out what they see. It is only after being ridiculed or made to feel that we are imagining things that we lose this natural sight, even though our angels and spirit guides are still there, just waiting to help us if we ask.
It is sad that so often, they cannot do very much for us except in situations where we would die before our time. It is only then that they can intervene due to the laws of free will. We must ask for their help and they so want to help us. Nothing is too trivial to ask for. Ask them to give you a sign that they are with you and pay attention to what you see, hear, feel and sense. Your world can be so much sweeter if you invite them into it. You need not ever feel alone again.
It is interesting to note that these imaginary friends often show up at times of stress, fear and loneliness.
For example, my sister and I had Martha and Mary. They played with us on the swings in my father’s back yard when we were around 4 and 6 years old. They only showed up when we were at my father’s house which is interesting because my parents were divorced and my sister and I often felt confused and lonely when we were at my dad’s. I don’t think he knew what to do with us so we were often left to our own devices when we had visitation with him, but Martha and Mary were always there to keep us company and make us feel safe.
My cousin was kind of an only child as her brother was much older and had already gotten married and lived in his own home. I remember how much she loved sleeping at our house because she was often alone. She had Tim and Bim and they were so real that we just accepted them without giving it a second thought. Tim and Bim were my cousin’s closest friends and she talked about them so much, my sister and I felt like we knew them.
My grandson died in a daycare at 3 ½ months old. My granddaughter, who was 4 at the time, was at the same daycare with him when he passed. It was a lot to deal with at 4 years old and she surely couldn’t process her feelings at such a young and tender age. Her and her baby brother had a very special connection and I believe they very much still do. She often snuggled with his blanket, and was chattering about and appeared to be completely engaged playing with someone who was very present. When asked about it, she very plainly stated that she was playing with her brother.
The Mask
If it ever seemed that I’ve lived the charmed life, that it all came easy, then I’ve undoubtedly fooled you.
This mask is worn well, but not intended to deceive or make you feel inferior.
Its purpose is to rise above the anxiety, to live beyond the suffering and emerge in peace.
The face has been weathered. It has been wiped of countless tears and grimaced in pain.
The mask is a fresh cover that I’ve created to give you hope, so that what’s underneath does not disillusion you or cause you to
fear.
If you get close enough, you can still see what lies underneath, but, when you are that close, I can embrace you and give you all my love
and strength and we will both be healed.
When I wrote this, I thought of the face others see when they look at me, the calm, cool collected version. We are of the same Universe,
I assure you, so never underestimate the power of kindness to another.
Inspiration
On the other side of darkness, there is light …
To counteract despair, there is hope …
For every loss, something valuable is gained …
And, when it is raining, the rain shall wash you clean, a rainbow follows and there is abundant sunshine on the other side …
I’ll be waiting for you there with outstretched arms!
The Banana Nut Bread Christmas
The holidays can be a very stressful time of year. So much emphasis is placed on gift-giving and, if you enjoy giving, or just wish you
could do more, it can be especially hard to deal with and quite depressing if you are unable to do so. I can remember many times of
maxing out credit cards to give gifts to everyone, only to have to pay them off for the entire following year. I can also recall many people
completely melting down during the holiday season, worrying over bills and money and not feeling like they had anything to give.
It does not have to be this way. A creative mind and loving heart can surely go a long way. Just doing something nice for someone over
the holidays can mean the world to them. Gifts from the heart are my favorite!
There are many ways to celebrate and share in the season on a shoe-string budget or even if you have no money at all. As my family
grew, there were so many children that it was impossible to purchase gifts for all of them. We decided to do a dollar store pollyanna and
the children picked their own gifts and there was something under the tree for everyone. They had fun finding something for their
pollyanna and exchanging their pollyannas on Christmas night and were excited to open the gifts picked for them. I try to place all my
efforts on what I believe is the true meaning of Christmas, celebrating the birth of Christ and spending time and making memories with
the family and friends I love.
In the spirit of Christmas, I share with you the year of the banana nut bread. My best friend and I were really struggling financially one
particular year and having trouble making ends meet. We would go to the Produce Junction and share a bag of apples, a bag of
bananas, a bag of pears, lettuce, tomatoes, etc. and for a few dollars, would have fruit and vegetables for our families. We then would
go to the Schmidt Bakery and purchase four loaves of bread for $1.00 and split that too as well as sharing costs at Bachetti’s Meat
Market where we split the family package of chicken or ground meat or whatever we saw for a good price.
However, in spite of how tight things were, we still could not rest without giving something to our coworkers, childrens’ teachers, the
school bus driver, etc. for Christmas. There seemed to be so many people we wanted to get gifts for but didn’t have the money to do so.
While shopping at B.J.’s, we found an industrial size box of banana nut bread mix. We purchased this mix and 30 mini loaf pans at the
dollar store at 10 for $1.00 and then proceeded to make 300 mini banana nut breads. We had so much fun making this banana nut
bread. It never occurred to us that we could only fit a few loaves in the oven at once. We ended up baking banana nut bread, drinking a
cheap bottle of wine and talking and laughing all night long. EVERYONE got banana nut bread that year.. neighbors, the mailman, family
members, co-workers, the traffic guard, etc.
I will never forget that year as being one of the best Christmases we ever had and it was by far the poorest!
Waiting for Someday
I guess at this stage of my life I’m no longer waiting for someday ….. the someday when everything is going to fall into place, where
bounty abounds and I put out my full-time healer sign on the door – never to look back again to my 9 to 5 job that has sustained me and
my family.
When did I start living the life I was meant to live and follow the passion of my heart and soul’s purpose? What was I waiting for all this
time? What stopped me from following my dreams – fear of failure, fear of success, the relationships I knew I had to leave behind?
When did I stop living this life for everyone except me?
I wonder why I always thought everyone else’s issues were so much more significant than mine and why I kept putting my goals off. I
started playing the lottery. I figured I’m lucky enough and I really needed a big break so that I could get on with the happily-ever-after
part. I wasn’t even greedy about it. I didn’t need the recent multi million dollar Powerball jackpot. I would have been perfectly happy with
just a few million.
My dreams as a whole seemed so big, almost like a story book fantasy. Is that possible? What about those relationships in my life that
no longer served a purpose? Why hadn’t I let them go in peace? Was I afraid of spending some time alone? And what about the healthy
body I was meaning to have – oh yeah and my spotless house? I had high hopes of hiring a cleaning service, a nutritionist, a cook, a
personal trainer and someone to run errands, and if they wanted to write out my bills too, well that would be icing on the cake!
I swear I’d have it all if I just had more time!
When did I turn 55 – wasn’t I just 45 yesterday? My baby is an adult with a baby and I just started losing the baby fat. My family doesn’t
care if the house is spotless – they just want to enjoy time with me. Why did it take me so long to figure out what’s most important?
Procrastination played a big part and I kept creating diversions so that I didn’t have to address my own core issues, especially when I
was busy trying to fix everyone else’s. Once I stopped the chatter and looked within, I realized that I can create everything I want. A wise
person reminded me to listen to my inner voice and follow the steps I was being given. I guess at some point, I stopped hearing my inner
voice because I was filled with the chatter of my ego. I thought, ‘well Lord, if you’ve given me this gift of healing, why then didn’t you fix
everything else in my life so that I could concentrate completely on healing and why am I working full-time on anything other than
healing”? I thought that once I discovered my life purpose, I was going to quit my job and put out my healer sign on the door and the rest
of my life would fall into place like a puzzle.
If I had done that, I would never have succeeded. People would never have taken me seriously. It took time and patience and practice.
I’m not saying that what I wished for was wrong. I just realized that I didn’t have to put off my life until it all just magically happened upon
me. All of a sudden it’s starting to click – like – WOW – I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. If I was perfect, I wouldn’t be on earth. I
have lessons to learn. I can live in this very moment and enjoy it because that’s all there really is.
I read a book about living in the now (The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle) and I don’t think it made sense until now.
What was I always worrying about? I cannot change the past. I cannot guarantee the future. All I have is this moment and I guess I
intend to live it. I can have the house of my dreams. I can pay off my excess debts, manifest what I want and know with true faith and
determination I will have it along with anything else I want.
I am creative. I can plan. I don’t need to win the lottery to be happy (but I’m still ok with it Lord if I’m meant to). Of course I still want a
clean house, but I don’t obsess over it so much anymore. It’s not what defines me. I live more comfortably. I enjoy my family and friends
and comfy furniture. I do my laundry when I need it instead of every day because it works better for me that way.
It’s funny that when my ‘regular’ clothes are in the laundry and I’m digging through my closet for something to wear, you know – the
bottom of the barrel stuff – it always seems that people say how nice I look. Hmmm, so I guess I am creative. I make time to relax. I
nurture my relationships. I play. I buy myself flowers and I stop to smell them.
I am a powerful healer and I am able to help others without losing myself.
I am noticing little miracles all the time and I am thankful to be exactly where I am.
At this time in my life, I can say I’m really living and enjoying it every step of the way.
When I Grow Up
It has been said that most likely whatever you thought you wanted to be when you grew up at about age 5 was probably the closest to
your life purpose. The premise is that it wasn’t so long since you were in Heaven in a spirit body and you still ‘remembered’ at that age,
before we learned to filter out our thoughts and question what we ‘knew’.
So, I asked my mother what I said I wanted to be when I grew up. She told me I was always playing school and hospital and that I was a
teacher and a nurse. She said my father would always pretend he was hurt or sick so that I could give him a bandaid or a cool rag or
check his temperature, or make him lay down and rest while I covered him with a blanket. She also said I used to walk around with a
clipboard and give out assignments and teach my ‘students’ everything I knew.
How funny that, in my case, this rings so true. I feel best when I am writing, speaking, teaching and helping others feel better and heal.
If you question what your life purpose is, think of that which makes your spirit soar, what feels right in your heart.
I understand what it’s like to work the job that pays the bills, but is it also what you feel good about and look forward to getting up to do
everyday?
If it isn’t, you are most likely not following your true life’s purpose.
Crystal Grids
Crystal grids are great manifesting tools. They use the energies of the combined crystals chosen for specific outcomes as well as the
layout and arrangement of the crystals.
I personally use crystal grids for relationships, health, healing and abundance.
I created a basic crystal grid with quartz crystals in the center to enhance the entire energy of the grid and rose quartz and clear quartz
crystals all around the outer circle for love and amplification.
I also used amethyst for strengthening the immune system and for increasing my intuition; green aventurine for inviting luck and
prosperity; green fluorite for growth and healing emotional wounds and opening your heart to love; and snowflake obsidian for clarity,
grounding and balance of the mind and spirit.
I placed these on a cloth surrounded by the phases of the moon and put them in a frame. This is my basic crystal grid pictured above.
When I am using the crystal grid, I set it on a table and add crystal points (I have several – clear quartz, amethyst, mookaite, tiger’s eye)
or a selenite tower on top of the glass for increased amplification and then I add any further crystals to aid in my specific intentions for
the session. I also light a candle and write my intentions on a piece of paper prior to the session and place that paper under the center
crystal point that I am using at the time. Then, I take the crystal point and trace each crystal from the center outwards to activate my
grid. Then I will say a prayer and meditate on my desired outcome. I will often leave the crystals in place for a time to disperse their
energy and allow my intentions to come to fruition.
It is important to note that I cleanse my crystal grid between uses, usually with sage and I periodically leave it in my windowsill during the
full moon phase.
When the grid is not in use, it makes a pretty decoration in my home.
Thankfulness
What is thankfulness to you?
I took some time to reflect on what I’m most thankful for. I know that I’m very blessed and sometimes I have taken my blessings for
granted. However, when I pause to think about what I’m thankful for, I realize that there is an overabundance of things to write home
about, far too many to name here, but one in particular which stands out today.
I lived for over 20 years in what I call a doll house, not because it is cutesy and should be on display by any means. I call it a doll
house because there were lots of rooms in it and they were all miniature like a doll house. I complained about it sometimes and
wanted more spacious rooms, but because of these extra rooms, I was been able to share my home with many people over the years.
I always wanted a home where I could fit just one more and I was grateful to have it.
I have an adopted sister. When we were younger, she lived in a foster home at my neighbor’s house. She was my best friend and we
played together every day. After a while, things weren’t working out where she was living and she was going to be placed again with
yet another family. I begged my mother to just let her stay with us for a while. After all, she was 14 years old, not likely to be adopted.
My mother ended up adopting her and my best friend became my sister. We had the best times together. When I moved out at 19
years old, she moved out with me. We worked together, hung out together, and always got along very well. Then we both got married
and had children and, although still very close, drifted some into our busy and separate lives. Time went on and we both ended up
divorced and our lives got even more hectic being single parents.
I love my family. I used to have a family sleepover once a month and anyone who could make it came over. We watched movies,
played board games, had snacks and just enjoyed each other’s company. We filled every room and I loved having people around.
My sister was financially struggling for months. Her young daughter had a baby and she was caring for her daughter and her grandson.
She had lost her job of fourteen years and could no longer make ends meet. She was tired and worn out but never really gave up. So,
I adopted my sister all over again and she moved into my house with my niece and great nephew. We were roommates again and it
was a great comfort to both of us.
In the most stressful of times can come the strangest miracles.
I was happy to be there in my sister’s time of need and merge my adult world with my childhood world, if only for a time, in this unique
way.
I loved my doll house which was warm and inviting and the place I called home!
And, speaking of dollhouses, pictured here is the one my mom made for me out of a medicine cabinet!
#thanksgiving
#thankfulness
#dollhouse
Meditation
Meditation is known to reduce stress, maintain inner peace, boost your emotional well- being and increase focus. Why then all the
hype about how to meditate the ‘right’ way? In its simplest form, meditation is about remaining in the present moment and just
allowing what comes. When your thoughts drift, be aware of them and return to your breath. At first it may seem daunting, but it does
become more natural as you make it a regular practice. There are endless ways to meditate. Chose the form that works best for you.
Some chose a specific time and place each day and schedule meditations for a specific length of time. I try to spend a short time
upon waking as well as a few minutes before sleep to mediate, which is really just setting my tone for the day and quieting my mind
before rest. However, at other times, I chose what works for me in the moment, especially if I want to gain insight on a particular
matter or concern. I set my intention to find clarity, a solution or an answer to a problem and then just go about my day using any of
the following methods.
Working meditation – where I concentrate solely on my work without thinking of the issue at hand and then, sometime throughout the
day, solutions come to me.
Meditating through movement, dance or music when I am swaying, singing and just being playful.
Driving meditation – where I take a drive, either to a specific destination or with no particular place to go, watching the rode, taking in
the scenery.
Rain meditation – I absolutely love watching and listening to the rain. I used to work in a building with corrugated metal roofing and the
sound of rain clinking from the roof was so incredibly relaxing.
Watching the waves meditation – I could sit by the ocean and watch the ocean waves all day long and totally zone out.
I also have outdoor chimes and the sound of them blowing in the wind and their melodic tones is perfectly serene.
Each of these scenarios puts my mind at ease and frees me from the chatter so I can remain fully present in the moment.
Halloween
Halloween is rich in traditions and celebrations, trick or treating, haunted houses and all things spooky. It coincides with Samhain, the
Celtic festival of the dead, marking the beginning of winter; All Saint’s Day and All Soul’s Day, the Catholic feast days observing the
lives of the saints and martyrs of Christian history and commemorating the faithful dead; and Day of the Dead, widely observed in
Mexico, which is likened to a family reunion honoring their ancestors and celebrating their memories, to name a few. It is also a time
believed that the veil between this world and the spirit world is its thinnest which makes it easier to connect with the deceased. It is
like you can feel it in the air with the daylight getting shorter and the temperature becoming cooler. There’s a profound sense of spirit
that seems to be amplified. This night was always sacred to me but has become even more so since the passing of my son. I have a
deep respect for my ancestors and like to spend some quiet time on Halloween to acknowledge them, thank them, connect with them
and celebrate them.
Happy Halloween!
#halloween
#dayofthedead
#samhain
#allsaintsday
#allsoulsday